Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Let's talk about our problems...

(Never have I posted a blog post this long, but I believe it's worth it. Read? xo)
 
Hi ladies! I'm not going to post about Valentine's Day, because I already did that early. You can read that post here. It seemed to be a hit, so I highly recommend you read it. All I will say is this: to all my single lady friends, think of ALL the money you will be saving tomorrow. ;) And then read that post. Then come back to this one because it is truly from my heart. And I have a big heart.
 
I'm going to share something with you. I have many secrets in my life that perhaps someday will be shared on this blog...some darker than others. I know we all do. But here's one that's not so dark, but personally eating away at me. Physically and mentally, I have many problems. I have insomnia. I have suffered with it since I was a little girl and I hate to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning. I also have severe anxiety. The two do not mix well together. I have read of a couple other bloggers that suffer from anxiety, and my heart goes out to you. It is the worst feeling--one that I cannot even describe. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, which means it is constant (every single day, all day long) and doesn't just come and go. I am on medication for it. I also suffer from depression. Is my life awful? NO! There's nothing wrong with people that are wired a little differently (aka suffering with anxiety or depression), but sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and ask God, "Why?! Why can't I be normal?"
 
I have endometriosis. If you don't know what that is, there is a good explanation here. I had a laparoscopy last October to get rid of most of it, but it could not all be taken away. A lot of it was too close to my vital organs, and the doctor performing my surgery was nervous to get close to them. Needless to say, I suffer great physical pain often. I know of at least one blogger who also has this disease, and I'd like to give a shout-out to my new friend Kel. I know she understands what I'm going through. I am suffering pains from two major car accidents that will probably never go away. But ya know what? I'm lucky to be here. To be typing this.
 
I have other physical problems, but let's not get into those now. Here is my point: I have lots of problems, some that I won't mention until another day. I often compare myself to other women. I want to be as pretty as them, as funny and smart as them, as great of a catch as them. Why do we compare ourselves to other women? We can always say that we are okay with who we are, but I know even the most confident of women have questioned themselves at one point in time. My point, my point...what was I getting at with all of this? No matter all of our problems, our insecurities, we are all so beautiful in our own ways and should never compare ourselves to someone we wish we could be for a day, an hour, 15 minutes. My very good friend Jenna just broke up with her boyfriend (tonight, the night before Valentine's Day) and I wanted to tell you why. Because she knows she deserves better. We should all know when we deserve better. :) I love you, Jenna.
 
We are so great, beautiful, and strong being the women that we are.
 
So instead of a Valentine's Day post, I wanted to tell you what I often have to remind myself. Always, always, always love you. Be kind to you. Know how awesome you are. And NEVER settle. I'm sorry for such a long post, but I didn't know how to write my feelings in a paragraph and have you all understand. I love you. You love you. And don't stop!
 
 
Dear Brani, you are pretty. You are talented. You are smart. You are funny. You have a huge heart. You are loved. Don't believe me? Let me show you proof below.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Okay, now that I feel pretty enough (and silly enough) to press publish, I am going to end this saying something super simple! Two of my very good blogger friends are having giveaways! Go pay them a visit and enter! Lauren from Fashion, Love & Lauren (formerly The How-To Blog) and Sue from Chevron and Lace. Lauren is my best blogging buddy, so you have to go check her out! And Sue is just as cool...and way creative! One more favor. My new friend, Missy, has a fairly new blog & I know she'd love it if you checked it out. She's very talented, so she's got some cool stuff up. I love blogging so much because I get to make the most amazing friends. :) Have a wonderful Valentine's Day, my lovely readers. I am grateful that you read my blog! I honestly adore you for it. xo
 
 
 

11 comments:

  1. Oh Brani! You speak the hearts of many, many women! It's so easy to forget who we are and that we are beautiful and it's so easy to compare our weaknesses with other's strengths. I think that sometimes when a woman sees another, apparently, more beautiful/talented/whatever woman and tries to make herself feel better by thinking of something that they're talented at, they feel guilty, like they are being prideful or something. NOT TRUE! Go ahead and think about talents that you have that others may not! We all have different talents so that we are unique and so that we can help those who don't possess it. I'm grateful for your honesty, strength, example, and friendship (and for the shout out).

    Love,
    Sue

    Sue // Chevron & Lace


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  2. Brani this was SOOO beautiful!! I feel you girl. I've had problems with depression and although I've never been clinically diagnosed I know how it feels to just feel trapped in your emotions and feelings. It's horrible. I never knew any of this before, but it just makes me admire you all the more. And no matter what, you can count on me to think you're stunningly beautiful and I know that you have the biggest heart!
    Thanks for opening up and sharing, I really enjoyed it :)
    xo,
    Lauren
    PS thanks for the shout out to my blog :))

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  3. Oh my gosh I love this. Can I just say amen!? So glad we met and so excited to become great bloggy friends with you my dear :) xoxo

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  4. Brani this is lovely. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I think that a lot of women struggle with self worth today, not excluding myself. It can be difficult at times, and we start questioning our importance. But the most important thing is that we feel love. The best place to start is loving ourselves. You are beautiful and I thank you for making me your blogging friend! Thank you for the shout out :)

    xoxo,
    Missy

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  5. GIIIIIRRRRRLLLLLL
    i'm so glad you stopped by- I was actually thinking about you the other day.
    I love love love this post. Every word!

    All of those things are true.. you are so beautiful and you've always been so kind to me! A great reminder for all of us ladies!

    Happy Valentine's Day!!
    xoxox

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  6. This was such, such, SUCH a beautiful post, Brani! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and "problems" - we all have them, that's for sure!! You should write like this more often, you never know who you're inspiring or giving courage :) xoxo

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  7. This. This. I'm at a loss of words. I am thankful that I read this and thankful for blogging and thankful for inspiration people like you. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing and being so positive.

    Wow :)

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  8. Thank you for sharing such a personal part of yourself! This is an awesome post and I can definitely relate with the anxiety. You are a beautiful woman.

    Thanks for stopping by and saying hi, I appreciate it.
    Have a lovely week!
    With Smiles,
    Angie at http://snackcupsandsmiles.blogspot.com/

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  9. This is a great post, girl. Comparing ourselves to other girls is a recipe for disaster. But especially as bloggers, I think it's hard not to. There are all these talented women, marketing their blogs, taking stellar pictures of themselves looking gorgeous. And yet, I am special, beautiful, confident, etc. Love that I have a man in my life who helps reinforce this when comparison gets the best of me!

    Also, I'm sorry you've been struggling with those health issues. I admire your strength!

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  10. I love this post. I was in a car accident too, and thought surgery would make me better and here I am 7 1/2 years later with a hurting neck and back still! But I do try to keep everything in perspective. As for looks and comparing ourselves to other women, it's really hard but I try my best not to. I have this quote tattooed on my rib: "Love yourself first and everyone else falls into line..." and I keep the words near and dear to myself. I completely agree that we have to love ourselves to the fullest - I think it's the best thing we can do for ourselves :)

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  11. Ugh. I have a friend with endometriosis and it sucks. I hope that they can find some way to manage it if possible. It's nice of you to feel comfortable opening up about your anxiety and depression since so many people have it but it's often hidden. It doesn't make you less "normal," and it's so helpful to have it talked about to actively "normalize" it. So thank you!!

    And I totally get the comparing yourself to other women deal. I feel that in the blogging world it's especially easy to do since we see what's really the best parts of their lives and days and pictures. It can definitely leave me feeling pretty lackluster sometimes. So good reminder to just let yourself know how awesome you really are. :)

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