(Never have I posted a blog post this long, but I believe it's worth it. Read? xo)
Hi ladies! I'm not going to post about Valentine's Day, because I already did that early. You can read that post here. It seemed to be a hit, so I highly recommend you read it. All I will say is this: to all my single lady friends, think of ALL the money you will be saving tomorrow. ;) And then read that post. Then come back to this one because it is truly from my heart. And I have a big heart.
I'm going to share something with you. I have many secrets in my life that perhaps someday will be shared on this blog...some darker than others. I know we all do. But here's one that's not so dark, but personally eating away at me. Physically and mentally, I have many problems. I have insomnia. I have suffered with it since I was a little girl and I hate to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning. I also have severe anxiety. The two do not mix well together. I have read of a couple other bloggers that suffer from anxiety, and my heart goes out to you. It is the worst feeling--one that I cannot even describe. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, which means it is constant (every single day, all day long) and doesn't just come and go. I am on medication for it. I also suffer from depression. Is my life awful? NO! There's nothing wrong with people that are wired a little differently (aka suffering with anxiety or depression), but sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and ask God, "Why?! Why can't I be normal?"
I have endometriosis. If you don't know what that is, there is a good explanation here. I had a laparoscopy last October to get rid of most of it, but it could not all be taken away. A lot of it was too close to my vital organs, and the doctor performing my surgery was nervous to get close to them. Needless to say, I suffer great physical pain often. I know of at least one blogger who also has this disease, and I'd like to give a shout-out to my new friend Kel. I know she understands what I'm going through. I am suffering pains from two major car accidents that will probably never go away. But ya know what? I'm lucky to be here. To be typing this.
I have other physical problems, but let's not get into those now. Here is my point: I have lots of problems, some that I won't mention until another day. I often compare myself to other women. I want to be as pretty as them, as funny and smart as them, as great of a catch as them. Why do we compare ourselves to other women? We can always say that we are okay with who we are, but I know even the most confident of women have questioned themselves at one point in time. My point, my point...what was I getting at with all of this? No matter all of our problems, our insecurities, we are all so beautiful in our own ways and should never compare ourselves to someone we wish we could be for a day, an hour, 15 minutes. My very good friend Jenna just broke up with her boyfriend (tonight, the night before Valentine's Day) and I wanted to tell you why. Because she knows she deserves better. We should all know when we deserve better. :) I love you, Jenna.
We are so great, beautiful, and strong being the women that we are.
So instead of a Valentine's Day post, I wanted to tell you what I often have to remind myself. Always, always, always love you. Be kind to you. Know how awesome you are. And NEVER settle. I'm sorry for such a long post, but I didn't know how to write my feelings in a paragraph and have you all understand. I love you. You love you. And don't stop!
Dear Brani, you are pretty. You are talented. You are smart. You are funny. You have a huge heart. You are loved. Don't believe me? Let me show you proof below.
Okay, now that I feel pretty enough (and silly enough) to press publish, I am going to end this saying something super simple! Two of my very good blogger friends are having giveaways! Go pay them a visit and enter! Lauren from Fashion, Love & Lauren (formerly The How-To Blog) and Sue from Chevron and Lace. Lauren is my best blogging buddy, so you have to go check her out! And Sue is just as cool...and way creative! One more favor. My new friend, Missy, has a fairly new blog & I know she'd love it if you checked it out. She's very talented, so she's got some cool stuff up. I love blogging so much because I get to make the most amazing friends. :) Have a wonderful Valentine's Day, my lovely readers. I am grateful that you read my blog! I honestly adore you for it. xo